One of my new year's intentions is to not work so much... By this I don't mean to work less then that is needed. I mean taking time for me, when I need it. For example: Let's say on Thursday I work a 14 hour day. On Friday I would only work half the day, instead of coming in for my regular 9-4.
This week was one of those weeks, where I was planning on staying home (because I worked a 14 hour day the day before). My son woke-up at 6:30, we did the morning thing and got him off to daycare. I had the morning to myself. If I'd planned ahead, I would've known what I was going to do with my morning, but that didn't happen. On my way to the daycare, the thoughts started to creep in.
What am I going to do with this "me" time? I could... go home & sleep ... go home & clean ... take my dog for a walk ... have a bath ... go shopping ... journal.
On and on I went. I kept thinking, what is going to fill my cup? What can I do to produce the most joy? I couldn't make up my mind and in truth, I started to get panicky about it. Another truth, I haven't been sleeping much. My son is going through a growth spurt and is waking in the middle of the night, restless and challenging to get back to sleep. What I really wanted was a nap. I really wanted to sleep in my own bed. Alone (that hasn't happened in almost a year). Commence full-blown overwhelmed thought-train.
During this thought-train, I started to do "the thing". The thing we all do when we are undecided on how to spend our allotted "me" time. We give, give and give some more. When it comes time to be selfless, we don't know what to do. We so badly want to do something, anything, everything. We lose sight of the truth and authenticity of our decisions. We base them on impulse and want, instead of thought and need.
Enter taking a page from my own book. During the panic, I'm not sure when, but, I stopped to think. I stopped to take a moment. I took a deep breath and visualized what would bring me the most joy. The AH!HA moment came, right on que. I went home, got the dog, my camera, warm clothes and headed to White Butte Trails.
What I needed was nature, fresh air and a long walk.
In my private practice in Regina, SK, I am passionate about helping women find their joy. I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.