#1 - I’m a Bad Mom: Spilling the Tea on Negative Thoughts
Why We Think This Way & How to Separate Fact from Feeling
What You’ll Find in This Module:
✔️ A recording of the teaching portion (no group sharing included)
✔️ A written breakdown of the session so you can revisit the key pieces
✔️ Journal + art prompts to explore in your own time, at your own pace
The Science of Self-Criticism & Maternal Guilt
Let’s start with a hard truth: your brain is lying to you.
That cruel little whisper that says “You’re not doing enough. You’re not good enough. You’re messing up your kids.”? It’s not reality. It’s your automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) playing on repeat like an overplayed sad song.
Mothers are biologically wired to scan for danger—not just outside threats, but also internal failures. This survival mechanism (thanks, evolutionary psychology!) makes us hyper-aware of mistakes and shortcomings, triggering mom guilt and self-judgment at full volume.
But here’s the kicker: just because you think something doesn’t make it true.
🧠 Cognitive Distortions at Play
All-or-Nothing Thinking – “If I lost my patience today, I must be a bad mom.”
Catastrophizing – “My kids will need therapy because of me.”
Mental Filtering – “I only focus on what I did wrong, not what I did right.”
Sound familiar? These distortions hijack our thinking and make us feel like failures, even when we’re doing just fine.
The Truth About “Bad Mom” Thoughts
80% of mothers experience intrusive thoughts, including fear of not being good enough.
The “perfect mother” doesn’t exist—she was made up by 1950s advertising to sell home appliances.
Harsh self-criticism activates the same stress response as a real external threat, keeping us in fight-or-flight mode.
The goal of this session is to pull these thoughts into the light, examine them, and FLIP THE SCRIPT. Because the real problem isn’t that you have these thoughts—it’s that you believe them.
🧠 5 Brain Dump Sentence Stems
Complete each sentence with whatever spills out—no overthinking, just letting it flow.
The most common thought I have about being a “bad mom” is…
I think this belief started because…
If my best friend told me she felt this way, I would say…
One thing I forget to give myself credit for as a mom is…
Right now, I want to remind myself that…
🧘♀️ Meditation: “You Are More Than One Moment”
Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply… and exhale.
Imagine your entire motherhood journey as a long, winding river. Right now, you’re standing on the riverbank, watching it flow. You see all the different moments—some peaceful, some turbulent.
Maybe you see a moment where you snapped at your child. A moment where you felt exhausted. A moment where you weren’t as present as you wanted to be.
But now, widen your view. See the full river. See the thousands of other moments—the ones where you laughed together, where you comforted them, where you showed up even when it was hard.
No single moment defines you as a mother.
Your journey is vast. You are more than your hardest moments.
Take a deep breath in. As you exhale, let go of the weight of self-judgment. Feel yourself softening. Lightening. Becoming free.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
🎨 Art & Written Journal Prompts: The River Within
Art Prompt: “The River Carries Me”
💡 Supplies: Paper, markers, colored pencils, paint—whatever flows for you.
Create a visual of your inner river—the one that carries all the parts of you through motherhood.
Include:
The rushing currents of overwhelm or anxiety
The quiet eddies of presence, joy, or rest
Any debris or clutter your mind holds onto (guilt, pressure, intrusive thoughts)
Add words, textures, or symbols to show how it feels to float, struggle, or surrender in that river.
Then ask yourself:
What would it look like to trust the river, just for today?
What can I let it carry for me?
Written Prompt: “Notes from the Riverbank”
💡 Supplies: Journal or blank paper.
Imagine you're sitting on the edge of your inner river, watching your thoughts float past like driftwood.
Write down:
A few thoughts that have been drifting through your mind on repeat lately
Which ones feel heavy? Which ones pass quickly?
Is there one you’d like to release into the current and let go of today?
Then write:
“I see this thought… I name it… and I let the river carry it.”
🔍 Reflection Questions
What emotions came up during the art process?
Did anything surprise you about how you see yourself as a mother?
How did your body feel before and after the meditation?
What message do you want to take forward from this session?
💡 Key Takeaway for This Module:
Your thoughts are NOT facts. The next time you hear “I’m a bad mom,” pause. Ask yourself: Would I say this to my best friend? If not, you don’t deserve to say it to yourself either.
🔥 Want to keep going? Practice catching your automatic negative thoughts this week. Each time you think “I’m failing,” reframe it with a gentler, more balanced truth. You’ll be amazed at how different it feels.
