Why you need a journal - How to fit creativity into your week

I'd be hard-pressed to call myself an artist. I self-identify as a maker, creator, photographer, helper.

I like to create, not to make something gorgeous or even sellable. I create to express myself. I create to process my emotions. I create to get thoughts outside of my body and onto paper. Sometimes I don't even like what I've created, sometimes it's even ugly (well, emotions are ugly). The end goal is not beauty or composition. The end goal is release, process and clarity.

I try to set time aside weekly to create a page in my art journal. I find a guided meditation, listen, create, reflect, and write. From start to finish this process can take up to an hour, but sometimes as little as twenty minutes.

This particular page was completed after a guided meditation by Susan Miller. I was inspired to create a scene that presented itself to me. This is an essence painting of an open field in Cypress Hills, SK along the Highland Trail. Cypress is one of my favourite places and when I'm there (literally, and figuratively) I feel calm, relaxed and clear-headed. 

WHY YOU NEED TO KEEP A JOURNAL:

1. It gives you something to look back on and see how you've grown. 
   If you journal with any kind of regularity, you can choose to go back and see how far you've come. How last year you were in a different place with your parenting, relationships, family, etc. How what you focus on over the years can change and shift.
2. It helps preserve the little moments. 
   I love facebook memories, because I am reminded of all my annual memories. Journaling is like that, but with everything. You may not "facebook" about how you're missing a friend, but you could journal about it. You can't entirely capture the essence of feeling your child fall asleep on your chest on facebook, but you can journal about it. Journaling can help you remember and savour the little moments that may not be deemed social media worthy, but are really important to you.
3. It helps you to process your emotions.
   Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you want to talk about what's happening in your life, but you really don't want advice or solutions from anyone. Enter journaling. You can express why you're upset, who you're mad at, what you're enjoying, how you screwed up, and no one is going to give you unsolicited advice or try to "fix it".
4. Most importantly: There are no rules. 
   Want to create time to journal once a day? Once a month? Whenever you feel like it? Awesome. Want to draw or scribble or write in terrible cursive? Great. Want to scratch swear words into your pages? Go for it. This journal is ALL YOURS, so you can do whatever you WANT.
   This is not another stressful thing to add to your to-do list. It's just a creative outlet to track your emotions, daily events and general self-expression.

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HOW TO EXPRESS YOURSELF INSIDE YOUR JOURNAL:

PENCIL CRAYON

OIL PASTEL

MAGAZINES

TEXTURE PAPER

PAPER COLLAGE

PAPER & PAINT

WORDS & PAINT

WATERCOLOR

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NEED SOME HELP TO GET STARTED?
Feel free to use these ART JOURNAL prompts:

• What colour is your day today?
• What colour is your happiness?
• What colour is your stress?
• Where do you feel most at peace?
• List three little wins from the last week. What shape and colour would these be?

Want to share your art journal pages with me? Use hashtag #yqrtherapy

Have a creative day,

HIGHLAND TRAIL - CYPRESS HILLS, SK

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Have questions about intentional art journaling and how it can help you? Contact me. 
In my private practice in Regina, SK, I am passionate about helping women find their joy. I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.

What does being a mindful mother look like?

I feel like I'm constantly breaking down the stigma that, "support groups just aren't for me". You don't even know how many times a week I hear this statement. I say, don't discount it till you try it. The groups offered here are not "traditional" support groups. These groups are small, intimate and focused. And while I'm on the topic, most groups welcome a well-timed f-bomb, a laugh out loud poop story and a good cry.

We are HONEST, supportive and raise each other up instead of tearing each other down.

I recently did a poll on social media about that being a mindful mother means to my followers. Here are the incredible responses.

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BEING A MINDFUL MOTHER IS...

• being present and living within that moment
• being aware that my feelings/needs/wants are just as important as those of my kids!
• taking time for self care
• being patient, but also knowing when to take a break!
• slowing down in each moment and being in tune with my child's needs and my own
• about being gentle with myself while working towards my personal emotional goals and knowing what I need that day to move forward with that
• a balance of being present for my son when I’m with him and prioritizing my own self care when I’m not
• paying attention to what is happening inside my body and recognizing when I need a snack before I start getting angry at my kids
• taking time for myself - well-intentioned, meaningful time
• is learning from other like minded moms
• slowing down, being present, taking time for myself, taking time for my husband and our relationship. Happy parents = happy baby.
•  not giving a shit what others say about how I parent my children
• finding your tribe and loving their children like your own
• prioritizing - what's more important: an all day cleaning day- or a day at the beach? Doing the dishes right after supper or a family bike ride?  No answer is right, and it changes all the time. But being mindful of which option I am prioritizing and why in that moment.
• all about awareness and being present in the moment, which I can only imagine will be beneficial to me as a new mother as I learn to adjust to this major life change!
• knowing when to ask for help!
• taking the advise or ideas that you want to try or that work for you and leave the rest
• accepting that expectation and reality are two VERY different things
• is finding support

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TIPS & TRICKS FOR INTEGRATING MINDFULNESS INTO YOUR LIFE (FROM REAL MOMS RIGHT HERE IN YOUR CITY)

SCHEDULING TIME
I’m still learning but scheduling it just like an appointment is the only thing that seems to work for me!

HAVING A MEDITATION PRACTICE
Being present is practicing a meditation practice whether it is 5 minutes a day of sitting meditation or simply just reminding yourself to be in that moment.

AWARENESS OF TIME SPENT
I just really try to be conscious and aware of my time alone. WHAT I do isn’t as important as my acknowledgement of doing it for me. Like going to the grocery store can be what I need but I make sure I recognize it’s time alone. Shop leisurely. Treat myself at the end. Take the long way home. That kind of thing! Being conscious and aware of the time. Allow it to heal you.

TIME WITH YOUR PARTNER
It’s hard. It’s always a work in progress. It’s getting easier as our babe gets older. On days when I am home in the evening I try and not stress about the state of the house and take time to check in with my husband after our daughter has gone to bed. We’ve recently talked about how we could get a babysitter for a time when we are both available so we can reconnect and do something together.

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You can find joy in your friendships - How to create connections with your people

A few weeks ago, I went out (like out, out) for the first time in a LONG time (4 years to be exact). An old friend called and it was all too serendipitous. Tiny human was already with Grammie, I was already in the car with no destination in mind.

I know that I am way too guilty of creating the "busyness". I get stuck in the ruts of expectations (the ones I place on myself), the to-do list, the "wife-work", the decision fatigue and so on. I often forget the power of connection, and while I'm being honest... I just don't "make" time for face-to-face friend connection. Not to mention, being a parent puts up a lot of invisible barriers. BUT this time was different, I said "YES. I'm going to be present, I'm going to connect with myself & others, I'm going to remember who I really am."

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Benefits to maintaining connections with others:

Good friends are good for your health. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also:

• Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
• Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
• Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
• Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
• Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise

READ MORE: MAYO CLINIC

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I know that I'm part of a unique set of people who can honestly say that they've had the same group of core friends for almost 20 years. Don't get me wrong, I've met a lot of beautiful, kind souls since I left the small town of Swift Current. Having said that, these "old-friendships" hold a special place in my heart. We grew-up together. We experienced a lot of adolescent "firsts" together. We held each other up. Together we created a culture of inclusiveness, honesty, and safety. We have a connection that I cherish (and miss) to this day and now that I'm writing this maybe it needs a bit more nourishing. I think of them often, and wish them all the love in the world, but rarely extend an actual connection.

Ok, so how do you create REAL connections with your favourite people? 
You could send a plain 'ol "thinking of you text"... or you could...

• Call them on the phone just to chat, no agenda, just connecting
• Make and send a video, professing your friend-gratefulness
• Buy OR make a REAL card and send in the mail
• Pop by their work for a hello/hug
• Send them flowers, chocolates, cookies, donuts (anything really)
• Pop by their house with their favourite... insert whatever (drink, candy, popsicle, blizzard, etc)
• OR ACTUALLY INVITE THEM FOR A FACE-TO-FACE CONNECTION (coffee, gander through Chapters, wine, book club, this is really limitless)
• Favourite person doesn't live where you are? Pre-plan regular FaceTime dates.

I invite you to reach out to one of your friends (old or new). It will feel different then reaching out to the "work-friend" or the "brand-new-friend." I can say with confidence that when you (re)engage with people who are dearest to you, you will feel seen, heard, and loved. Connection with "your people" has the ability to enrich your life, if you let it. 

When you reach out to your people, I encourage you yo behave in a way that is honouring your authentic self (not the censored version of you).

All you need is 20 minutes a day - How to use music to decrease feelings of anxiety and depression

IMAGINE...

Full-time working mom gets home from work. While making supper she starts to get this heart-pounding-thoughts-racing feeling. Her husband walks in, with the kids and asks her "What's wrong?". She can't identify anything specific. "I'm ok" she says. While cutting up the potatoes her thoughts keep jumping... the work-day, the over due project, the new trainee, the groceries, the kids swimming lessons, the house, the in-laws, the summer holidays, the budget, the, the, the.... She knows enough in this moment to take a "time-out", she sits on the couch. Scrolls through social media, the feeling won't subside. "This isn't working" she says to herself. Puts her phone down. Walks over to the stereo and puts on one of her favourite songs.

She closes her eyes. She lets the energy of the song take over. She can feel it all over her body, she starts to sway back at forth. She feels this wave-like sensation. She keeps swaying back and forth, quietly mouthing the words, losing herself in the song. She tears up. She stays in this moment. Nothing matters but the song. The song ends. She opens her eyes and feeling refreshed, she is able to finish supper prep and is now able to be present with her family.

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It only takes twenty minutes of intentional music listening a day to decrease your stress, boost your mood and increase your happiness. 

Intentional music is listening to music with the intention of feeling better, increasing happiness and/or decreasing depression & anxiety. Intention plays a huge role in the success of this coping mechanism. The listener has to set the intention and embody that intention while listening to the music/playlist.  

Playlists are like the 21st century version of a mixed tape. Remember, mixed tapes? You had a mixed tape for everything. You made them for friends, you had one of love songs, you had one for driving and so on. Why not create playlists with the same intentions?

Here are some suggestions for a 21st century mixed tape:

1. Create a playlist that causes you to feel happy.
2. Create a playlist that causes you to feel grounded.
3. Create a playlist that causes you to feel like dancing.
4. Create a playlist that causes you to feel like nostalgic (in a good way).
5. Create a playlist that causes you to think of your partner (in a good way).
6. Create a playlist that causes you to think of your kids (in a good way).

Here's how to use intentional playlists:

1. Create the playlist(s)
2. Set your intentions - in the moments right before listening
   "I am feeling anxious and I want to feel grounded"
   "I am about to loose my sh*t and I want to calm down"
   "I am feeling crippled by anxiety and I want to get out of my head"
3. Put the headphones in and turn it up!
   Improving your mood and inviting more happiness into your life with music can be done in almost any situation. You can simply sit and listen, you can intentionally listen while driving or working out. Chose the playlist that will create your desired effect and play it till you get a semblance of that feeling. Anywhere where you can access music, that is the place where you can find a little gem of happiness.
4. Feel the beat with your body
   It's no secret that our minds & bodies are interconnected. More often than not, music makes us want to move. These body movements release endorphins and serotonin in the brain, so we feel better and organically develop a more positive outlook. Combining music with movement is an effective way to improve your mood.
5. Interrupt your negative self-talk with music
   Listening to your favourite song or playlist can interrupt the natural thought patterns of regret, worry and/or fear. Music helps us to focus our attention on the sound and rhythm, even if just for a short while.

There are a variety of ways you can use this practice to meet your needs, for example, it could be used while in the heat of an anxious moment or it can turn into a daily practice, where you listen every morning/night for 20 mins. I encourage you to explore your music tastes and start using music intentionally in your life TODAY.

PS> Jennifer Buchanan (music therapist in Calgary, AB) has some great resources aimed at using music in your life with purpose and intention.

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However, helpful these tactics are, people struggling with depression or anxiety are encouraged to seek out the help of a professional mental health support person. I offer a variety of services for people in and around Regina, SK. 
Check them out. I offer complimentary 30 minute in-person consultations, to see if I’m the right therapist for you!

Allow yourself to be seen - How to cope with transition to motherhood

I am now the mother to a threenager and while I have some distance from “the early days”. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I sat in various professionals offices and answered the questions like a “good, strong mother”. I listened to the information given to me. I didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t ask what it all meant. I didn’t ask anything.

What all that comes down to is that I wasn’t allowing myself to be vulnerable. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel all the feelings. I was content to be “ok”, neither happy neither sad. I was numb and I didn’t know it. 

What I know now is that I wasn’t allowing myself to be seen or feel.

The transition to motherhood is a hard journey and allowing yourself to be seen starts with:

• feel all the feelings
• accept the help given
• lower the expectations of yourself
• rest when the baby sleeps (how you rest is up to you)
• outsource what you can 
• talk to your people 
• journal and talk some more

Allow yourself to be seen by the safe people, the reliable people, the people who show up for you. That’s how you thrive in motherhood. 

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In my private practice in Regina, SK, where am passionate about maternal mental health, I offer a variety of services for mothers. Check them out. I offer a complimentary 30 minute in-person consultation, to help you decide if I’m the right therapist for you! The therapeutic relationship is where change and growth occurs.

How to find trust within yourself

As one is launched into motherhood there are a lot of decisions to make. What car seat do you buy? Are you going to nurse or bottle feed? Are you going to hire a postpartum doula? Will you stand up for yourself to your MIL?

Too often we burden ourselves with the thought of "is this the right or wrong decision", we do this because, of course, you want to make the right choice. In motherhood, there often isn't a "right choice". There is a right for you and right for me choice, everyones "right compass" is different. Embracing all the differences is a practice.

Do you go to friends/family/therapists hoping they will give you the answers you're looking for? Do you agonize over safety ratings and best consumer baby products? Or have you ever stopped and felt the answer that is inside your body? We all have the ability to go inside ourselves and feel our bodies – inwards and out, all you have to do is be open to listening.

LISTEN to the following meditation and download the workbook to start trusting in yourself. I believe in you.

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Negative self-talk is connected to perfectionism, anxiety and can lead to depression.  I believe you have the bravery to change your internal dialogue.  In my private practice in Regina, SK where am passionate about women struggling with their transition to and through motherhood, I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.

What I love about working with women

My inspiration for starting this private practice was to offer support to women navigating THE biggest transition of their adult life. I want to ensure that women in our city are able to do more than just survive this motherhood phase of life -- I want you to thrive! I have a special place in my heart for prairie women. These women are strong, determined and true to themselves. However, motherhood is hard -- really hard.  It breaks even the best of us. It can surprise even the most prepared. Mothers have a tendency to think that they have to be strong for their families, they have to be the one who sacrifices everything (getting little in return), they don't "deserve" to spend time on themselves. When in fact, the opposite is necessary, mothers NEED support, they NEED connections (real ones not virtual ones), they DESERVE to feel good about this stage in life.

So often, I hear ‘I'm fine’, ‘I'm managing’, ‘I'm doing okay’, when in fact I know most mothers do not have their sh*t together. They are not going to ask for help and are desperately looking for connection and support.

In everything I do, I encourage women to share their inner most feelings, the honest ones (even if it's ugly, especially if it's ugly).  I love working with mothers because their emotions are raw, genuine and bittersweet. Mothers have so much to share, so much to express. There is so much light & dark within each mother I meet and I am thankful for both.

What I know about this generation of women: we have been taught that negative emotions are uncomfortable and therefore you should not share them. Sometimes, we even feel like it's unsafe to share them. Those around us are also conditioned to feel uncomfortable around negative emotions, so mothers are often not held, seen or heard in the way they need to be. 

I want to fill this gap.

With effective intervention most therapies work for most of people, based on the connection they feel with their support person.

I am passionate about inspiring women to live the life they want, with confidence and self-assurance. My mission is to support, empower and inspire women (especially new-mothers) to become their authentic selves. The foundation of my educational and life/work philosophy is to meet clients where they are at, figuratively and literally. I offer therapy in a variety of settings to best meet your needs. We could take a walk, you could come into my warm & cozy studio space, or I can come to your house.

If you're reading this blog post and thinking about yourself, a friend or loved one, you can help them get the support they need. If you're in Regina, please feel free to reach out. I run a private practice through Red Fox Creative Studio in the downtown/cathedral neighbourhood. I offer a free 30 minute in-person consult to find out if I'm the right therapist for you. Don't know if you're living with postpartum depression/anxitey? You might find this article useful. If you've been considering joining a mom group, check this out. 

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In my private practice in Regina, SK, where am passionate about maternal mental health, I offer a variety of services for mothers. Check them out. I offer a complimentary 30 minute in-person consultation, to help you decide if I’m the right therapist for you! The therapeutic relationship is where change and growth occurs.

What is expressive art therapy?

Sure you can google it... but here it is in plain English.

Hear a song on the radio and transport to another place and time? How about feeling the urge for a spontaneous dance party? Lose time in painting, scrap booking, journalling? Had the urge to doodle while on the phone? Sing in the shower? Hum while you fold your laundry?

These are all a forms of expression, creative expression.

We used to express ourselves all the time, as kids. Somewhere along the way, we lost our drive to really be silly, expressive and creative. Some people still have it - that's for certain. For others - it's an untapped resource.

Expressive art therapy is a kind of healing that happens through poetry (reciting and creating), intentional music listening, art journal's and/or creative writing, collage or sketching after a guided meditation.

The healing happens when you allow someone to see you, really see you. The dark places and the light.  Expressive art is listening, not only, to someone’s actual words but witnessing how they express themselves. When was the last time you expressed yourself in a real way, baring witness from someone who held you up? 

BENEFITS OF EXPRESSIVE ART THERAPY

• Move towards living a more intentional and authentic life
• Realize the "part you play" in your life & interpersonal communications
• Sit with your feelings, beginning to know them, learning from them
• An increased sense of self love and self acceptance
• Move past distractions and scattered thoughts
• Permission to go into the deepest parts of yourself
• Acceptance of what you cannot control (aka. other people)
• Accessibility to unconscious thoughts - and your ability to alter them (aka. cognitive distortions, "the stories we tell ourselves")
• Give permission to your body to speak to you
• Increased blood flow while creating
• Improvements in immune system, blood pressure, heart rate and respiration
• Something new will come into being by trusting in yourself & the creative process (enhancing your validation in being seen & heard)

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Have questions about expressive art therapy and how it can help you? Contact me. 
In my private practice in Regina, SK, I am passionate about helping women find their joy. I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.

7 reasons NOT to join a mom support group and the reasons why you should come anyways

1. I'm too tired

Mama, tell me about it. Who isn't. My son is almost three and we're still up at least once/night. Tiredness doesn't go away, it just gets more manageable.
TRUTH: You can be tired at home OR you can get your butt in the car, grab a latte and maybe, just maybe you'll meet a mama-friend (but, you'll ever find out sitting at home binge watching Netflix).

2. I need a shower, to eat and a shave

Again, who doesn't. Nobody cares. Dry shampoo, grab a bagel on the way and shave tomorrow. Go anyway.

3. But it's nap time

There’s a very short window of time in the beginning when that babe can sleep anytime, anywhere. Maternal mental health and connection are more important than that bit of rest you "might" get staying home.

4. But what if I break down?

TRUTH: Ya, ok,  you probably will (the first time). Motherhood is f-ing hard. And you know what? Other moms will be crying too. It will feel so good to release all those pent up feelings.

5. I won't know anyone

Mama, if you're new to the mom game, you won't get to know anyone sitting at home either. Create your tribe. Find your people.
Ya ok, you won't like everyone - but you can appreciate the process.
Fast forward to the first day if kindergarten... Are you going to keep your kids home just because they "don't know anyone". No, you're going to say "You know what, hun? It might be scary and it's ok to feel a bit upset, but you can do this. I believe in you"

6. It's raining, cold, OR too hot (or whatever other excuse you have made for the weather)

People have babies in Alaska. People have babies in India. People have babies in New Zealand (the rainiest place on the planet). You’re MUCH more likely to feel isolated and depressed if you stay home. Grab an umbrella, bundle up (or bundle down) and GET OUTSIDE. 

7. Meh, support groups aren't really for me

You need adult conversation. You need to get out of the house. You need to turn off the Netflix and join the world again. Out of the eight moms in the room, you might really connect with one of them. This friendship will be the start of your mom-support network. You will text each other at 3am, meet each others spouses, go on double dates and maybe even go camping when the kids are school age. 
If you are a little shy or hesitant to meet new people, when you’re feeling vulnerable–GET TO A MOM GROUP.

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In my private practice in Regina, SK, where am passionate about maternal mental health, I offer two mom support groups. Mindful Mothering is a drop-in support group. Maternal Healing is an 8 week therapeutic group. Check them out.

How to silence your inner critic

We all have one. We all have an inner critic. You know, the one who tells we can't. The one who tells us "... that mom from gymnastic is judging me for ________". The one who tells us we aren't perfect enough. We aren't patient enough. We just plain aren't enough.

How do we silence it? How do we tell ourselves we are "good enough"? 

Three ways to silence your inner critic

1. "Check-in" with your inner critic every once and a while. Reflect on how this inner voice effects your self-talk, your self worth & your interpersonal communications.
2. Acknowledge that this inner voice is separate from your real world view. This voice and it's phrases are NOT REAL. This dialogue exists solely in your thoughts, and is not a reflection of who you are, how good of a mother you are or even what others actually think of you. This voice is something you have internalized based on early life-memories, dialogue & behaviours that you witnessed as a tiny person.
3. Differentiate from your inner critic. Write your self-talk down, in "I" statements.
   "I am a bad mom. I don't have any patience"
   AND THEN FLIP IT
   "I am a good mom. I am patient."
   This will help you change the internal dialogue, and hopefully start to change this thought process and turn negative self-talk into positive self talk.

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Negative self-talk is connected to perfectionism, anxiety and can lead to depression.  I believe you have the bravery to change your internal dialogue.  In my private practice in Regina, SK where am passionate about women struggling with their transition to and through motherhood, I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.

The real truth about postpartum depression (PPD)

It's no secret that moms don't want to or can't talk about the very real things that are happening to them (in real time, in real situations). 
Here is the very real truth about postpartum depression (PPD):

• PPD can start minutes after delivery, with the highest risk being in the first 5 months
• 20-25% of women will experience PPD (at some point within the first year)
• Women with a history of depression are 35% more likely to experience PPD
• Women who experienced depression during pregnancy are 50% more likely to experience PPD

How is it that we don't ask for more? How is it that we are not being asked "HOW are you"? How is it that when you give someone a real response, they tend to retreat and not know how to respond? How is it that we don't ask for more? More joy, more love, more support, more time, more sleep? How it is that in 2018 we are walking around numb?

I talk to moms every day, and in response to the "how are you" question, these are the standard responses:

"Fine."     "Busy"     "Getting by"     "Surviving"

I say BE BRAVE, BE HONEST. Tell the truth (even if its ugly, especially if its ugly). Say how you are really feeling. Seek help if you need it (even when you don't "need"). But how will you know when you need support? It's as simple as checking in with yourself every now & then. Ask yourself the following:

• How often am I neglecting my own basic needs, or the needs of my child(ren)?
• How often am I blaming myself for things gone wrong?
• How often am I feeling anxious, panicky, worried and/or scared?
• How often am I crying, for long periods of time, seemingly for no reason?
• How often am I too exhausted to do anything (ie. leaving the house, doing things you used to love)?

When the truthful answer to these questions is "moderate to high frequencies", it's likely time to reach out to someone. Anyone, anyone safe and who will hold you with love and support. This could be your partner, family member or professional. It doesn't much matter, as long as you are truthful with someone safe, it will open up a supportive dialogue. 

If you have answered "moderate to high frequencies" for one or more of these questions and  feelings have lasted for more then 2 weeks, I highly recommend seeking professional support. This could be from your doctor, health nurse or therapist. Pay attention to that voice inside that says "something isn't right here". Trust that thought and yourself. Reach out for support. You deserve everything you need to feel content with motherhood.

Oh and when YOU ask someone how THEY are, be prepared for the real truth. And respond with something like "wow, that f-ing sucks". NOT "oh... what can I do to help" (sheepishly). You know what you can do to help, HEAR HER, SEE HER, listen and be present with her. That's all anyone needs, just to be heard.

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Shhhh.
Don't speak. Don't feel. Don't cry. 
Don't let people see. Don't let people in.
It's normal, right? To feel this way.
Everyone feels this way, right?
I am alone. 
Don't speak. Don't feel. Don't cry. 
Shhhh.

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PS> I saw the picture above, while searching for an image for this blog post. This poem came to me spontaneously while thinking about all the moms, I see, who are walking around silently struggling.

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If you or someone you know is struggling with PPD or PPA (postpartum anxiety), please reach out for support. I believe you have the strength to heal from both.  In my private practice in Regina, SK where am passionate about maternal mental health, I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.

Taking time for the things you love

One of my new year's intentions is to not work so much... By this I don't mean to work less then that is needed. I mean taking time for me, when I need it. For example: Let's say on Thursday I work a 14 hour day. On Friday I would only work half the day, instead of coming in for my regular 9-4.

This week was one of those weeks, where I was planning on staying home (because I worked a 14 hour day the day before). My son woke-up at 6:30, we did the morning thing and got him off to daycare. I had the morning to myself. If I'd planned ahead, I would've known what I was going to do with my morning, but that didn't happen. On my way to the daycare, the thoughts started to creep in.

What am I going to do with this "me" time? I could... go home & sleep ... go home & clean ... take my dog for a walk ... have a bath ... go shopping ... journal.
On and on I went. I kept thinking, what is going to fill my cup? What can I do to produce the most joy? I couldn't make up my mind and in truth, I started to get panicky about it. Another truth, I haven't been sleeping much. My son is going through a growth spurt and is waking in the middle of the night, restless and challenging to get back to sleep. What I really wanted was a nap. I really wanted to sleep in my own bed. Alone (that hasn't happened in almost a year). Commence full-blown overwhelmed thought-train.

During this thought-train, I started to do "the thing". The thing we all do when we are undecided on how to spend our allotted "me" time. We give, give and give some more. When it comes time to be selfless, we don't know what to do. We so badly want to do something, anything, everything. We lose sight of the truth and authenticity of our decisions. We base them on impulse and want, instead of thought and need.

Enter taking a page from my own book. During the panic, I'm not sure when, but, I stopped to think. I stopped to take a moment. I took a deep breath and visualized what would bring me the most joy. The AH!HA moment came, right on que. I went home, got the dog, my camera, warm clothes and headed to White Butte Trails.

What I needed was nature, fresh air and a long walk.

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In my private practice in Regina, SK, I am passionate about helping women find their joy. I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.

Annual Reflections & Intentions

This year has tested me in ways I never thought possible. I initiated two businesses. Went back to school. Balanced a shift-working husband, toddler, fur baby and household. I'm here and still going strong. I'm always re-learning how to be gentle with myself (and others), reassessing my expectations & boundaries and not trying to do everything all at once. 

Here are other random (and not so random) reflections about 2017.

• Applied for Expressive Art Therapy Training through Prairie Expressive Arts Therapy Institute.
• After months and months and months of logistics, numbers and business planning Kristin MacPherson and I saw our unicorn dream come to fruition, thanks to our landlord.
• Collectively we own & operate Red Fox Creative Studio.
• 2017 started with extensive business planning & implementation for Red Fox Creative Studio.
• Moved into 300 - 1954 Angus St studio space FEB 1st.
• Built an office in the studio space - ok we didn't actually build it - but we did white wash the walls.
• The first Red Fox class ran on MAR 6th.
• My boy turned two years old. Commence TERRIBLE scratch that "teaching twos".
• In March my son had his first sleepover with his Grammie. Give yourself permission to know when you're ready for something like this. For me, it took two years and a lot of suggesting from family members. It is a lot of planning, packing and worry. You'll know when you're ready. Trust your heart.
• In April I started the Expressive Arts Training in Calgry. It was heavy and light. Dark and sunny. Lovely and enriching. I met 11 amazing woman doing great things in their professions and lives. The first intensive week we covered: story-telling, narratives, drama therapy and music therapy.
• Summary of the training: 2000 kms driven, 6 days of training, 1 day off, 1 personal expressive art therapy appt, 9 days without my son or husband, 1 tired and inspired self.
• I got home from the training feeling thrilled about the applications of expressive therapies.
• Through out the summer months (before going back in Sept) I was to complete 2 hours of creative studio work and one journal entry every week. Plus read all my materials, keep up with self-discovery and correspond with other participants in the training.
• May: Soft launch of the therapy website. This was literally my blood sweat and tears.
• Mother's Day was spent with my mom at Over the Hill Orchards.
• I wrote a BLOG post about my grandmother. You can read it. This was one of the last conversations I has with her. She departed this world in NOV.
• Designed, launched, promoted and facilitated the first Maternal Healing Group.
• Red Fox attended the Cathedral Village Arts Festival.
• My friend created a monarch butterfly habitat for us. We raised three butterflies and released them into nature.
• There was a family of owls living in my neighbours yard.
• My cousin revealed the finished touches on the vintage Camaro she is restoring on behalf of her dad. 
• My favourite place is Cypress Hills, SK
• Shameless self-promotion... We are having four events out at the Cypress Hills Interprovincial Park this summer.
• We had a wonderful visit from my family who lives in Vancouver. My husband and I hosted a family BBQ. There were lots of laughs, tears and reminiscing.
• Took my son water sliding for the first time. At times like this I am happy I was "in the moment"... however, I would've loved to have a go-pro strapped to my head. The look of pure playfulness and joy on his face was amazing.
• Completed my Expressive Arts Training. This was an amazing experience. I grew both personally & professionally as a person. Considering the stage of life I'm in, this was a HUGE accomplishment & sacrifice for my family.
• For thanksgiving I reconnected with an old friend. We planned to drive to Saskatoon, attend a craft sale and stay the night at a hotel (all husbandless and kidless). It was amazing to get away, unplug and reconnect with myself and my oldest friend.
• Hosted the YWCA Regina Girls Camp at the studio. They participated in a guided meditation about self love and then put that experience to canvas boards. See BLOG POST.
• Summer Vacation this year was to Edmonton, Cold Lake and Calgary (Okotoks). We experienced Fort Edmonton, Edmonton Zoo, Calgary Zoo and a WHOLE lot of reconnecting with family. 
• Feeling thankful for the media coverage we've had in our first year of business. Two spots in Global Regina and one live CTV Morning Show segment.
• I am so very grateful for everyone who has supported this journey and I look forward to everything it may bring my way.
• Facilitated three mom's groups. I always learn more from the mom's then they do from me. There are some pretty amazing women in this city!
• Scheduled over 50 client appointments. Thank you for being vulnerable and showing up for yourself.
• Hosted two Women's Empowerment Events. The first one in November SOLD OUT.
• Another shameless self promotion: check out all the ways you can invest in yourself in 2018.

AND, to end this annual summary...

• Start doing the things you love.
• Take your mask off and embrace vulnerability.
• Ask for what you need.
• Speak your truth.
• YOU matter and YOUR mental health matters too.

How to stay grounded in the winter

Expressive arts, is at its core, about the process. While this may look like a simple collage to some. To the women who made them they hold strength and meaning. This is a visual representation of a grounding meditation (essential for winter months when we can no longer walk bare feet outside), the celebration of the end of one of the moms groups and the continued desire to be open to self-discovery. 

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“The planted roots stretching into her body. Spreading their wings into her heart and mind. She gains strength from introspection, plants, books and  creation. She knows who she is, she knows how to stay grounded, it’s all inside her.”

"I am strong. Steady. Grounding comes from within. I can access that energy and power whenever I want to need to. I am apart of that energy and power. I am made of stardust and will return to stardust. I don't need to be afraid of anyone or anything because I am connected to it all and it's all connected to me. I am part of power greater than myself. I am unique and strong. Capable and intelligent. I can access this strength everyday just by pausing and remembering that its here, with me at every moment"

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Step ONE: Earth & Belly Breathing Meditation Script from Sara Avant-Stover's The Book of SHE OR another grounding scripts you may find on the web. 

Step TWO: Art Response to capture the essence of the mediation and what it meant for you

Step THREE: Name your art piece and write to it. The writing could be the essence of your art piece, what the meditation meant to you or how you're going to take it's lessons forward into your life.

It's ok, that it's not ok - YQR women's postpartum group

You can feel it, can't you? That unrest, that quiver of unease, that sense of despair. If you decide to show your bravery and walk among the wilderness while showing vulnerability, I will hold space for you. I will hear you. I will see you. We all will.

I've been told that I say this (a lot) "Its ok, that its not ok right now" and when working with mothers I think this an essential message. We are all creative people. Trusting in our bodies is part of the process. Trusting ourselves is even more important. Every week begins by not knowing what the art will bring froward.

Here are ten things (no, eleven) that you are likely to experience in the Maternal Healing Group:

• The realization that inner work always starts with yourself
• Acceptance of what you cannot control (aka. other people)
• Moving towards living a more intentional and authentic life
• The ability to move past distractions and scattered thoughts
• Accessibility to unconscious thoughts - and your ability to alter them (aka. cognitive distortions, the stories we tell ourselves)
• Realizing the "part you play" in your life & interpersonal communications
• Sitting with your feelings, beginning to know them, learning from them
• Permission to go into the deepest parts of yourself
• Something new comes into being - enhancing your desire for self expression (and to be seen & heard)
• Increased blood flow while creating
• Improvements in immune system, blood pressure, heart rate and respiration

You deserve joy

I was told once, that if you go back to doing the things you loved when you were 12 years old, that is where your true passion really lies.

Whether you're a parent, working professional or a retiree it can feel daunting to discover the thing(s) that bring you joy. I would suggest starting with the things you loved doing when you were 12. Whether that was sewing pillows for your friends, making friendship bracelets, journaling, sports, going for walks or spending time with animals. Start there and work your way through your 12-year old self's hobby list.

When you're feeling mundane and down in the dumps, when your life is lacking enrichment and joy, that is the time to start making your list.

This can be done by sitting quietly and visualizing your 12 year old self. Close your eyes and give yourself time to reflect. Ask yourself: What did she enjoy? What did she surround herself with? Who did she enjoy spending time with? What brought her happiness?

What's next after reflecting? Seek and experience them one by one. Maybe they'll bring you joy maybe they won't, but it's a place to start.

You have the time. Live your authentic life. You deserve it. Because you really do. Seriously, close your eyes say "You deserve joy".

Show up with Love - Women's Empowerment Event

Do you find yourself flitting from one thing to another, not really able to focus on one thing? We can drive ourselves crazy with to-do lists, thoughts, desires, and attachments. Perhaps meditation will give you super powers, perhaps it will help you rein in your egos and emotions…. perhaps not. It looks different for each person.

This intention for this event was to introduce participants to the idea of fusing ART and guided mediation. This process increased self-awareness and gave time for reflection on how they show up in their life, how others show up for them and most importantly how they can show up for themselves. 

Together we embarked on a journey of reflection, art and introspection. 

CLICK to See the next Women's Empowerment Event

PRESENTED BY: KAYLA HUSZAR CREATIVE SERVICES & ELISHA GUEST PHOTOGRAPHY

Take a breather, Gord said it as ok

Gord Downie is a Canadian legend. He brought people together, he sang the truth and spoke words like poetry.

When diagnosed with caner, he didn't retreat. He continued to give all of himself to his fans & music. He continued to live his life as the true artist he was. No one will really know what those final moments were like for him, but I imagine they were filled with tears, music, strength and true self expression.

There are many ways Gord sang of truth and authenticity in life. Here are 4 of my favourite lyrics that speak to this:

1. "We can take a bit of a breather. We can skip to the practical part. We can skip to the time of neither" - Lake Fever, 2000
2. "First thing we'd climb a tree and maybe then we'd talk or sit silently and listen to our thoughts. With illusions of someday casting a golden light. No dress rehearsal, this is our life" - Ahead by a Century, 1996
3. "Armed with will and determination, and grace, too" - Grace, Too, 1994

4. “For a good life we just might have to weaken and find somewhere to go. Go somewhere we’re needed. Find somewhere to grow. Grow somewhere we’re needed” - It’s a Good Life, If You Don’t Weaken, 2002

Road-Trip Therapy {Intentional Music}

You know when you're driving and the music is on shuffle and a song comes on. A little tear leaks from your eye and you start listening a little more intentionally. After listening a while you realize, that this song was perfectly placed, perfectly timed. This song takes you to a place.  A place that you can't even really even describe to other people. It's this place where everything makes sense and you're ready for change and you're ready to move forward. You realize in that split second, that everything in your life is a choice. A choice to be heard. A choice to react. A choice to move forward. Oh I’m not saying the choices are always easy ones, most likely these kinds of decisions are hard. They require honest communication and integrity. They might be the hardest choices you've ever made in your life. These choices might include setting up boundaries for people who are unhealthy. Deciding who you get to be. Getting up each day and facing what comes. Living your dreams. Becoming the author of your own story, and putting a stop to everyone writing all over your pages. Deciding when and where and how you want to live your life. Deciding what makes you feel whole.

Yes, one song can provoke all of that. If you really feel it and invite that song in your body.

Its time to ask yourself: What is it that you want? What is it that you want to accomplish? What is that thing, that voice in the back of your mind, what is it saying?

I encourage you to let these ideas breathe, let them live outside of you, because your life is worth living.

You deserve it.

Creativity is about process not product {Art Journaling}

My journey with Art Journaling started with Anne Penniston Gray. We would gather at her office, she would serve tea and we would create the morning away. When I left those sessions I felt uplifted and whole again. Like most things in life I had great intentions of keeping up with my art journal. I had dreams of finding prompts on Pinterest and I would continue with it... I never did.

Then I became a mother & business owner, then LIFE really got in the WAY. Between feedings, sleeplessness and general life upkeep... When was I to find the time? I lost myself for a time - and creativity found me again, and I found myself.

This past April I went to Calgary for a whole week. ALL BY MYSELF (yes CAPS are required for that... let me say it again... ALL MY MYSELF). I attended Level One Expressive Art Training with Prairie Institute for Expressive Art Therapy. Our instructor Carmen was reciting a poem one morning and this phrase just stuck with me "...show up with love". Over the next few days, I was reflecting on how I show up with love... for my family... for my business... for myself. I wasn't entirely convinced I was intentionally showing up, in any capacity. 

This phrase, this week and this clarity prompted me to start doing things for myself again. I felt inspired, in ways I haven't been for years. And now, I need it. I need it like I need to eat, breathe and hydrate! I dream about collaging and my Pinterest is overloaded with new techniques I want to try. I look forward to that 45 min window in the evenings when I can take over my entire kitchen and create.

I encourage you to ask yourself, how am I showing up with love?

What you need to start your own art journal:
- Jar of water
- Paper Towel
- Spray Bottle (filled with water)
- Notebook (could be from the dollar store, glue two or three pages together)
- A variety of acrylic paints
- Paint brushes
- Magazines
- Paper bits (could be scrapbook paper, or any patterned paper you can find)
- Embellishments (quotes, floral bits, butterflies, etc)
- White glue

DIRECTIONS
This is about process not product
It may be easier to use a guide for the journal page, you can find all sorts of journal prompts on Pinterest.
1. Start by making your color palette and layering the paint on your page. Using stencils with total randomness, get a base layer of paint on your paper.
2. Keep stencilling until you feel ready to add your embellishments.
3. Mess up and cover with more paint.
4. Place your embellishments onto the page with white glue.
5. Blend with more layering of paint. 
6. You can drop paint by mixing with a little water. Or smear paint with a spatula.
7. BREATHE
7. Does the page feel finished?
9. If yes, then let dry. If no, keep going till it feels finished.
10. Reflect on your creative journey and how it's helping you reflect on your values.

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Have questions about intentional art journaling and how it can help you? Contact me. 
In my private practice in Regina, SK, I am passionate about helping women find their joy. I offer a free 30 minute in-person consultation to find out if I'm the right support person for you.