When You Can't Make Instagram Parenting Work: 11 Journal Prompts for Moms Who Feel Like They're Failing
You saved the Instagram parenting post about "connection before correction" because it just makes so much sense.
Like, finally - a strategy that would work. So when your kid started melting down over the wrong color bowl at breakfast, you tried it. Exactly like the post said.
And your kid completely lost their shit anyway.
Now you're standing in your kitchen, cereal on the floor, wondering “what's wrong with me”
Why does it work for her and her perfectly lit kitchen?
Why do all those moms in the comments say "this changed everything!" but when you try it in your real life with your real kid, it just... doesn't?
By bedtime, you're running through that familiar list in your head: Not present enough. Not patient enough. Not joyful enough. Not calm enough. Never enough.
This is what mom guilt actually looks like - not some vague feeling, but a running list of all the ways Instagram parenting made you believe you're failing.
Here's what gets me: One of my clients described this exact cycle last week. Before I could even ask how her week went, the words tumbled out.
"I wasn't present enough. I didn't laugh enough. I was too irritated, too quick to anger. Not patient enough, not kind enough."
It was like she had a running list in her head of all the ways she didn't measure up that day. And this wasn't just one bad day - this was every single day. She'd wake up determined to be different, to parent differently than her own childhood, though she couldn't quite put her finger on what those differences even were.
By bedtime? Exhausted. Defeated. That familiar feeling of "i’m never going to be enough."
And here's what gets me: She has everything her 16-year-old self dreamed of.
The husband, the career, the kids, the house, the dog. She's working her ass off at both her job and this whole parenting thing. She's trying really fucking hard to be a good mom.
And yet she feels sad. Not because her life is actually bad, but because of the impossible parenting standards, relentless Instagram culture, the comparison, all the bullshit that comes with constantly measuring yourself against someone else's curated highlight reel.
She struggles with worthiness - though she'd probably never call it that.
It's more like this persistent whisper at the end of every day: You didn't do enough. You aren't enough.
Maybe you know this feeling too. And if I had to guess what you're really looking for? It's not another parenting strategy.
You just want to feel like yourself again.
You want to feel lighter in all this heaviness.
You want to stop carrying the weight of "am I doing this wrong?" every single day.
Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is heavy. And somehow we've decided to make it harder by trying to be someone we’re not (guilty as charged).
Which, when you think about it, is kind of wild.
But you don't have to keep carrying that extra weight on top of everything else.
Why Writing Helps When You're Overthinking
After my article in Maclean's about Instagram parenting culture came out, my inbox flooded with messages from mothers saying the same thing: "I thought I was the only one who felt like this."
But here's what I know from my work as a therapist for moms: You can't think your way out of the "not good enough" spiral.
You've probably already tried.
You know intellectually that Instagram is BS, that comparison is pointless, that you're doing your best.
But knowing it doesn't make the feelings go away.
That's because your feelings and inner truths can't always be reached through thinking alone - they come out more easily when you write than when you just think in circles.
Writing does something different than just thinking about it.
Putting words on a page - whether in your notes app or voice noting yourself - bypasses the intellectual defenses your brain has built up.
It gets underneath the "shoulds" and scripts. It lets you access what you actually feel and what you actually know about your kid and your family.
Here's what actually shifts: When you write through these prompts, you're not learning a new parenting technique. You're putting down some of the weight you've been carrying. The weight of "am I doing this right?" The weight of measuring yourself against everyone else's curated version of motherhood. The weight of performing perfection.
(Which, by the way, is exhausting. And kind of ridiculous when you think about it.)
When you put that down, you feel lighter. You feel more like yourself. And when you feel like yourself, you stop second-guessing every decision mid-meltdown. You trust your read on your kid. You parent from your own knowing instead of someone else's script.
Motherhood is still hard. Your kid still melts down over the wrong color bowl. But you're not carrying the extra weight of shame on top of it anymore.
11 Journaling Prompts for Moms Drowning in "Not Good Enough"
Grab whatever you write in - your notes app, a fancy journal, a Starbucks napkin with a crayon your kid left in your purse. There's no "right" way to do this.
Set a timer for 5-10 minutes, pick a prompt, and just write. Don't edit, don't make it pretty, don't worry about grammar or making sense. This is for you, not for Instagram.
1. I thought motherhood would be... but instead...
2. Write about a moment this week when you knew exactly what your kid needed and you trusted it.
3. If I could tell my 16-year-old self one thing about having "everything," I'd say...
4. I'm trying to parent differently by...
5. When I scroll Instagram, the story I tell myself is...
6. The Instagram advice that didn't work was... and I felt...
7. Write about your last "good enough" day - what made it feel that way?
8. If no one was watching, I would...
9. I felt most like myself as a mom when...
10. I would trust myself more if...
11. Dear [your name], you're not failing because...
How to Actually Use These Journal Prompts
Here's what I don't want you to do: Bookmark this for later, forget about it in your 47 other open tabs, add "journaling practice" to your morning routine, and then beat yourself up when you don't do it.
Here's what I invite you to do instead:
Screenshot the prompts that make you go "oh, yeah"
Voice note your answers while folding laundry or driving or hiding in your car
Scribble responses in your notes app at 2am when you can't sleep
Text yourself sentence fragments throughout the day
Use the same prompt five days in a row if it's bringing stuff up
Write on whatever's in front of you - your phone, a notebook, the back of a permission slip
What would its feel like to give yourself space to feel your way through the "not good enough" spiral?
Some prompts might make you cry. Some might make you feel relieved. Some might make you want to throw your phone across the room. All of that is exactly as it should it.
The Real Work Isn't “Fixing” Yourself
Remember my client who started this whole conversation? The one who couldn't name what she was trying to do differently, who had everything she dreamed of but still felt sad?
Here's what shifted for her through this work: She realized she was trying to parent differently than her childhood, but didn’t realize that she didn’t have to TRY TOO HARD. What was really contributing to that sad feeling was the effort it took to parent differently than Instagram told her to parent. And those are two completely different things.
(One involves actual humans in your actual life. The other involves a woman with a ring light and a content calendar. Just saying.)
Motherhood didn't get easier for her. Her kids still had meltdowns. The dishes still piled up. The mental load didn't magically disappear.
But she felt lighter. She stopped carrying the weight of performing perfection. She stopped running through the "not enough" inventory at bedtime (well, not overnight she is still human) because she wasn't measuring herself against impossible standards anymore.
She felt like herself again. Not the Instagram version of a mother—just herself, parenting her actual kids in her actual life. She began to recognize what it felt like to know when to be gentle and when to be firm, when to push and when to back off, when to say no and actually mean it, and when to “die on that hill” versus when to compromise.
She didn’t need another program, strategy, or 5-step process. What she needed was permission to trust what she already knew. And when she finally did, the heaviness lifted.
Want More Support in Motherhood?
If these prompts stirred something up and you're ready to go deeper, I created a free 5-Minute Check-In tool specifically for moms who are exhausted from never feeling good enough. It's a quick 5 minute daily-ish practice to help you reconnect with yourself before the Instagram comparison spiral starts.
I work with moms in person in Leduc, Alberta (17 minutes from the Edmonton IKEA) and virtually across Canada.
Whether you're dealing with mom guilt, Instagram parenting pressure, or just want to feel like yourself again, there's space for you.
You can also read my full Maclean's article "My Misadventures in Gentle Parenting" about why Instagram parenting culture is contributing to maternal anxiety.
If you're looking for ongoing support to navigate motherhood without the pressure of performing perfection, I'm accepting new clients for in person therapy in Leduc, Alberta and virtual counselling across Canada. As a Registered Social Worker and Expressive Arts Therapist, I help mothers with mom guilt, mom anxiety, and finding their authentic selves beyond Instagram parenting culture.
P.S. That "not enough" feeling at the end of every day?
It's not evidence that you're failing. It's evidence that you're carrying weight that was never yours to carry - the weight of impossible standards designed to keep you consuming content. These journal prompts help you put that weight down so you can feel lighter, feel like yourself again, and parent from your own knowing instead of someone else's script.
Motherhood might still be hard, but you don't have to make it heavier than it already is. (It's heavy enough, thanks.)
Which of these 11 prompts hit you the hardest? Or is there a specific 'not good enough' feeling you're carrying that you'd add to this list? I'd love to hear it in the comments.
